My 6-year-old daughter notices a difference between her body and her baby brother’s.
Each parent and family need to find what’s right for them rather than listening to others. Each family keeps different values and morals in mind when dealing with body parts. While some are comfortable introducing the correct term to describe male/female genitalia at a young age, other families prefer to hold off until they feel their child is ready. Regardless of your decision, having an honest and open conversation with your child about their body is essential. As long as you are open and honest with them, the age you decide to introduce new terms or discuss body parts won’t matter because your child will know you care about them. That’s what’s most important.
Connecting the dots can be challenging for young children. The first things kids usually do at a very young age is point and engage in naming games. For example, if you say thumbs up, most kids will put their thumbs up. This is a good start, but you should continually build this communication foundation by giving them real names for body parts as they grow. It is normal for them to refer to their genitalia using slang terms or words that rhyme with the designated body part name.
A common question among parents with young children is, “When should we start talking to our kids about body parts?” The answer is that you should start early — but not too early. Age six is an excellent time to begin teaching your child the names of their body parts, but it’s also important to talk about privacy and respecting other people’s bodies.
Open Communication
It is essential to have open communication between parents and children so that children feel comfortable speaking up if they need help with something. But, it’s also essential that children don’t feel like they must always be asking permission before doing anything new or different in life.
The best time to start talking about body parts depends on your child’s age. You should begin by teaching the names of their own body parts first before they learn the names of other people’s body parts. You must teach your children that it’s okay to talk about these things so they don’t feel ashamed when asking questions or pointing out differences in others’ bodies. Your child’s age isn’t critical, but when there are multiple children in the home of different sexes, the questions may come sooner rather than later. Open communication is key!
Be Honest Early So Young Children Do Not Associate Body Questions With Shame
Be honest early when you talk to your child’s body parts. They will ask you questions, and you must be prepared to answer them positively. If they ask why they have a belly button, tell them that it’s where they came from or their umbilical cord was attached when they were born. You can also tell you that it’s where the doctor cut their umbilical cord so Mommy can take care of them.
Parents must teach their children early on that it is okay to ask questions about body parts and what they mean. If a child does not get this message from you, he may grow up associating questions about his body with shame or embarrassment. It can also lead to confusion in his mind regarding his body, which can negatively affect his self-esteem and make him feel uncomfortable around other people later on in life.
By Six Years Old, Teach Body Part Names (Real Names)
As soon as your child is old enough to understand, begin teaching her the real name for her body parts. This is important because slang names can lead to shame and confusion.
Use of Slang Body Part Names Can Lead To Shame
Slang names for body parts can start very early in life. When your toddler asks for a “boobie” or “butt” instead of “breast” or “bottom,” it can be tough to know how to handle it. When you use the appropriate language at this stage in your child’s life, you are helping them build self-esteem and confidence and teaching them that it’s okay to talk about their bodies and ask questions about them. If they get used to using slang names at this age, they may continue using these words when they get older — which could lead them down a path of shame and embarrassment.
Slang Names Can Lead To Future Disrespect
Slang terms such as “honey pot” or “junk” can lead children down a path of disrespect towards their own bodies or others’. By using slang terms for body parts, we risk our children thinking it’s okay to refer to people in any way we please — even if it’s negative.
Slang Names Can Lead To Objectification
The word “butt” is one of those words that’s hard for many people to say out loud, let alone use in front of a child. But if you’re waiting until your child is old enough to understand medical terms such as “rectum,” he may be older than he needs to be. Slang names for body parts can lead to objectification — treating someone like something they’re not just because they have a certain physical characteristic — or even worse, inappropriate touching by others.
Confusion About Body Parts
Under six years, children often have trouble distinguishing between their own body parts and others. It’s common for young children to think that “private parts are always covered by underwear, even during baths). This is normal and often temporary, so don’t worry too much about it. It will pass when you start teaching your child about appropriate times and places for touching.
In addition to the confusion about private parts, children may also be confused about other body part names like belly button or elbow because these words can mean different things in different contexts (i.e., belly button = navel).
How To Teach Your Child About Body Parts
When teaching your child about their body, the more you know and the more comfortable you are talking about it, the better. If you’re worried about how to handle a certain situation, don’t be afraid to ask someone who knows more than you do!
Animal References
Using animal references can help children associate body parts with something they already know. For example, when talking about ears, you can say, “just like our dog has ears that help him hear us,” or “just like our pig has ears that stick up from her head.” This association is helpful because it gives children something tangible to relate to and provides an opportunity for further conversation about other animals’ body parts.
Use Props
Parents need to use props when teaching kids about their bodies to have something tangible to relate to when discussing the topic later in life. For example, if you’re teaching your child about vaginas or penises, show them pictures from a book instead of just words alone because it gives them something visual they can relate to.
Describe Functions
When describing the function of a particular body part, be sure to use correct terminology and avoid slang terms or phrases. For example, instead of saying “pee-pee,” say “urinate.” Also, avoid using slang terms like “willie” or “willy” because they may sound silly and make it more difficult for your child to understand what you mean.
Use Visual Aids
Use visual aids (e.g., books with pictures) – Books are an excellent way to introduce and reinforce vocabulary. They help children understand what they’re learning and provide additional information about this new topic. You can also point out specific words in the book, so your child knows what they mean. If possible, read these books with your child, so they see you reading and learning too!
Teach Boundaries Your Child Needs To Know
Children need to know that their bodies are private, and they need to understand that private parts of their bodies exist and other people should not be touching them in those places. This begins with clothes on, but talking about it can help your child feel comfortable and understand that they have a right to say no or stop if someone tries to touch them inappropriately.
Make Sure They Know They Can Ask You Questions
If your child has questions about bodies or nudity, be ready to answer them honestly. Let them know that it’s okay for them to ask you questions and that you’re happy to answer them as long as they’re not being rude or inappropriate by asking. If your child inappropriately asks a question, try using a teachable moment as an opportunity for education instead of scolding them for their behavior.
Take Advantage of Teachable Moments
You don’t need to wait for a specific question from your child; there are lots of opportunities to bring up sensitive topics. For example, when bathing your children, simply say, “This is my body.” Point out each part as you talk about it, and ask them about theirs. Tell them the names of their body parts in different languages (you can find this information online), so they can understand that there are many ways to refer to them.
Conclusion
Open communication begins from a young age at the core of teaching respect for each other. Parents play a critical role in helping their children develop healthy body image while simultaneously introducing the basics of self-respect and respecting others. Start having these conversations now so your child will have the best tools to succeed in what will likely be one of their most significant challenges in life—the challenge of treating others with kindness and respect.
